Family memories

I know that it isnt a new picture and i did take some today but i decided not to use them becuase it is where i came from that is most on my mind today.
I know that being further makes me miss them more and that if i was still there i would still be wishing i could get out but right now i am home sick.
I am always homesick, lately anyways it has been really hard, it is always hard this time of year. Missing birthdays, getting a tree and decorating it. Making a big one saturday out of decorating the whole house. Dad puts on the christmas music, we all pull out santa hats and dance around as we decorate. Of coarse someone is always getting mad or upset or wants to be somewhere else but we wouldnt be a family, and a big one at that if it was "pleasentville perfect" No families are perfect but i miss mine horribly even if i wouldnt admit it outloud to them. It is all of the little traditions that i most treasure in my memories and feel like i miss out on the most. Apple picking, family parties, get togethers with family friends and watching kids i saw when they were born grow up. I miss family dinners and sunday morning breakfasts. I miss shopping with my mom and sisters and going out to lunch. I miss walking around as a big family and going to dinner with everyone. I know that everyone argues and has different opinions and wish they were somewhere else but i also know that noone would change a thing if they could. As soon as they go away too they will. Nothing seems like mine here, including my life.... how to i change that? How and when will i feel like i belong somewhere again? Becuase right now, i dont know who to call a friend or family...

a few more pictures for memory...