ugh

Im going to be vague for many reasons, but i need to write to get it off my chest, writing always makes me feel better, and i dont feel good. I wish i could be more specific but its frustrating!

I was sooo looking forward to planning my wedding. my dream wedding with the man of my dreams. Yes, i was the girl who knew exactly what i wanted and how.

what i failed to realize, and better yet failed to yeild advice from is all the drama that goes along with it. I dont understand. I try rediculously hard at all times to make and keep everyone happy. I will do anything, spend anything and probably take a bullet for most people i know. I get that not everyone thinks the same as me but seriously, have a little damn compassion! i am so sick of he said she said, sick of the insults, sick of the secrets and sick of the drama. I dont have friends for a reason, i dont want them! i dont like drama! im going to be hospitilized by the end of the summer if i even survive it all. But the worst part is either im not supposed to know OR i will be hurting someone by saying something. What happened to the fun part of wedding planning, what happened to enjoying it and everyone being happy for us.

Happiness would be nice!
Help would be nice!
Compassion would be nice!
Sensoring your damn self would be nice!
interest would be nice!
listening would be nice!
and shutting the hellllll up would be fabulous!

I am soooo beyond done. Im ready to screw it and elope. All i want to do is marry scott! and everyone can retreat back to thier own corners and my husband and I can move on.

i am beyond stressed at this point,
Somedays i just cant stand it anymore...
95 days left and not soon enough!