changes

I was going to take a picture.. maybe i will add one later, but i wanted to update on my book i was talking about in a previous post.. the leader book.

I have been working really hard on the first 3 or 4 chapters (i skipped a few becuase im already perfect in those areas..LOL) and feel very proud of the progress i have made, whether others notice it or not i guess only time will tell. I still struggle with the leader/ friend relationship and taking charge of certain things without constantly looking for approval. I hate that about myself. Reminds me of the kinds in high school who would act stupider then they actually were to outsmart the teacher and not have to work as hard. I recognize i do it and except for a few mistakes and questionable insistances i have been trying hard to do it on my own. I am not supposed to talk about work on here but refrencing to nothing in particular i look forward to going in (most days) i look forward to seeing what i can learn, teach and the differences i can make. I enjoy perfecting my strong skills and adjusting my weak ones. The store has been peaceful and pleasent for the most part and i am starting to have faith again in myself that i can handle things on my own. Yes we are super busy and are short handed horribly and i work 10000 X harder than i ever have before but i am learning to manage taking on too much and speaking up. There will always be frustrations but choosing my attitude is what is getting me through this tuff time and making it so much more enjoyable! I almost love my job again!

This is part of what i wrote about the last few days from my personal journal:
I can go my own way I can learn and grow at the rate I choose, I can model my behavior after all the great leaders and who I want to be… not who others think I should be. I have made my own decisions, I still need practice expressing them. I have made my apologies and have changed my attitude toward the people I was reluctant with. I have made a conscious effort to show people the me I want them to see and not expect the impossible out of people. I have chosen my attitude everyday. I have not run from confrontation instead I have handled it to the best of my ability. I can honestly say that I am TRYING. I have contacted an organization I am interested in volunteering with, my something new and my something I am afraid to do. I have been a teacher, a student, an influencer and an encourager. I have made compromises without compromising myself and my own standards. I will always be working on becoming a stronger person but I know, myself I have made significant improvements these last few days…